How to Overcome Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a form of abuse that damages the emotion of an individual. It is rather painful to understand and notice than say physical abuse, which can be rather apparent. Even if it seems less potent than physical abuse, it inflicts a lot of harm from within and is likely going to make you more vulnerable than strong.

The trauma it leaves behind is so deep that it feels as if there is a wound which will never heal. There is destruction of massive proportions in both scenarios. In sum, psychological aggression is carefully crafted emotional abuse that incorporates actions and speech with the primary aim of controlling the emotions of the victim.

Whether it be you or someone in your circle being a target for such a brutal form, action should be taken to identify the warning signs and take proactive measures for ensuring the psychological well-being of the individual under attack. In this particular post, I will focus more towards the warning signs, effects of emotional abuse, and finally give some recommendations on how to combat these forms of aggression.

What is Emotional Abuse?

The term ‘emotional abuse’ describes a wide array of actions which can inflict social and psychological harm to another person with a view to control and manipulation. It can manifest itself in many forms such as constant criticism, belittling, bullying, or even denying reality. Mental abuse can be just as traumatic as physical abuse because it doesn’t have to include explicit acts like shouting or violence. These tactics are in fact often used by emotional abusers so that their victim or partner feels isolated, worthless, and terrified.

Common Signs of Emotional Abuse

Identifying emotional abuse can be tricky, particularly if it is happening in a subtle way or if you have been programmed to see it as normal behavior. Still, there are a few things to look out for:

1. Humiliation and Criticism

Abused individuals may be subjected to hateful pet names or humiliating terms with a negative connotation. Something along the lines of ‘worthless’ or ‘stupid’ which will put the individual down.

Other forms of abuse include character assassination. This includes someone straight wishing bad on you or saying you will face the worst consequences. Someone might say, ‘you are always messing things up’ or ’you are a failure.’ A big red flag in these sentences is ‘always.’ It is a flag that the criticism they give is not justified and is in fact generalized.

Emotional abuses tend to use swearing and yelling along with other forms of intimidation. And while the intention behind it is to make the ‘victim’ cower down, the abuser never hits. But their loud outbursts make the victim fearful, insignificant, and small.

2. Control and Manipulation

• Making Threats – An abuser may threaten to report you, stalk you, damage your life professionally, or intimidate you into believing that they possess the means to inflict harm upon you by other methods.

• Monitoring Your Activities – They may try to regulate your movements, social interactions, and other actions. For example, they can visit your office without permission and even expect to be briefed about your position every hour.

• Digital Surveillance – Requesting to view – one’s passwords, conversations, and social network accounts – and checking them repeatedly is a case of violation, as one should regard it as sensitive business that is protected and private.

• Gas lighting – Gas lighting is when an abuser convinces you that past events are false, which brings your sanity and reasoning into question.

3. Public Embarrassment

Making You the Joke Publicly: An emotional abuser would undermine you in front of others. They would make jokes, pick on you, tell others your secrets or point out your faults in a public place.

Using The ‘Who Cares’ Attitude: A person whom you don’t expect such from can be so rude and dismissive, like telling you, “Who cares,” after you share something important.

4. Control Through Shame

• Demeaning Your Looks: Critics often wish to make you feel as if you are a less attractive or less valuable person, interpreting anything you do or say in an insulting manner. They may even criticize what you wear, how you dress, or any other aspect of your conduct.

• Disparaging Your Successes: The abuser operates in a way whereby nothing you do would please them, and meager results are all that they can derive from every effort. It follows then that even where you find success, he/she will claim that it is all thanks to them.

• Manipulating Your Emotions: People do this sometimes in order to elicit a reaction from you. They are bound to raise contentious issues in an attempt to arouse your sentiments.

The Effects of Emotional Abuse

The consequences of emotional abuse can sometimes be deep-rooted and not totally obvious at first look. Over time neglecting emotional abuse in a relationship can lead to greater problems in both the mental and physical aspects of an individual. Survivors usually go through the following:

1. Loss of Self-Esteem

Intricate emotional abusers are able to systematically chip away at the self-worth of their victims. Eventually, this can lead to problematic self-doubt, low self-esteem, and reduced identity.

2. Chronic Anxiety and Depression

Constant fear and stress can result in depression, mental issues, and even PTSD. Emotional abuse victims often feel like they are tiptoeing on a minefield; they live in constant dread anticipating the next explosion of rage or the ensuing criticism.

3. Isolation

Being abused has far reaching implications and can leave a gigantic hole within someone. Sometimes, an abusive partner can even destroy one’s support structure consisting of friends, family, and colleagues. They do their best in convincing the sufferer to not perceive the world around them as such or even paint a picture of how everyone plans to treat them poorly.

4. Difficulty Trusting Others

Having gone through such abusive behavior, the victims may find it difficult to trust even those who mean no harm. The abuser’s betrayal will have an impact on relationships that will follow.

How to Deal with Emotional Abuse

If you recognize any of these signs in your life, it’s crucial to take steps to protect your mental health and well-being. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Don’t Try to Fix the Abuser

It’s tempting to try to help an abusive person change, but it’s important to remember that emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior, often rooted in deep issues that the abuser needs to address with professional help. You cannot fix them on your own, and trying to do so may make the situation worse.

2. Avoid Self-Blame

It’s common for victims of emotional abuse to internalize the abuser’s words and actions, feeling like they somehow deserve the mistreatment. However, no one deserves to be emotionally abused, regardless of their behavior or circumstances.

3. Prioritize Self-Care

Take care of your physical and emotional needs. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and ensure you are staying healthy. This will help you build the resilience you need to cope with the situation and take action.

4. Set Boundaries

Establish clear personal boundaries to protect yourself from emotional abuse. If the abuser crosses those boundaries, be firm and consistent in enforcing them. For example, if they start calling you names, you might say, “I will not tolerate being spoken to that way. If it continues, I will leave.”

5. Seek Support

Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or a therapist. Sharing your experiences with someone who believes and supports you can help you gain clarity and perspective. Joining a support group for victims of emotional abuse can also be incredibly healing.

6. Consider Ending the Relationship

Sometimes, the best way to protect yourself from emotional abuse is to leave the relationship or situation entirely. If possible, make a clear and firm decision to end the relationship and cut ties with the abuser. This might involve blocking their phone number and social media accounts or even taking legal steps to ensure your safety.

7. Create a Safety Plan

If you are in an abusive relationship that may escalate, it’s crucial to have a safety plan in place. This might include finding a safe place to go, securing important documents, and knowing who to contact for help. Domestic violence shelters, counselors, and legal advocates can help you develop an exit strategy.

Conclusion

Truly, the scars of emotional abuse run deep. Even while being so profoundly horrific, these scars can remain unnoticed. We may not know all but these scars can have devastating impacts to one’s well-being. It is crucial to know that, whether it is verbal or emotional, any kind of abuse is not ok. One should be left to deal with those precisely. Identifying the signs of emotional abuse is the first step towards regaining control of one’s life.

Unfortunately, emotional abuse is oftentimes overlooked and even disregarded in relationships which makes it very difficult to comprehend. A spouse or partner who puts restrictions such as mishandling your personal property or belongings, controlling your finances to make sure one has limited access to funds, or enraging you with unreasonable expectations contribute to emotional abuse. Other forms can include humiliating, belittling, or even insulting one’s identity.

Emotional abuse takes place when a loved one puts a person into isolation, resulting in loss of interest among self friends, family and the world. Remember, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might take time, effort, and appropriate guidance but everything is possible once a safe, strong, and supportive environment is established.

Last but not least, one requires a solid support structure around. Make the effort of obtaining help by talking to supportive family members, friends and professional counselors. It is crucial to remember that all of this is possible with one solid step at a time.